THE LIBYAN...Bridging Libya, Singapore and the U.S.

(Interviewed by Deborah Hefferon, ISH Board Associate, in August 2014.)

Esther Today

Esther Kofod grew up in Singapore which was her mother’s home country; her father was from Switzerland. After completing her studies in Singapore and then Switzerland, her family helped her choose Hood College (MD) for her higher education. On the small liberal arts campus, located in the charming, historic town of Frederick, Maryland, Esther was one of just four foreign students in 1965. At age 19, she was understandably very homesick for her family and Singapore, but also for her cosmopolitan lifestyle. She remembers being jolted when asked naïve questions, such as: Do you sit on chairs at home? Where in China are you from? (assuming that Singapore was in China).

After two years, she transferred to the Corcoran School of Art in Washington, D.C. to major in commercial art. She moved into the International Student House in the fall of 1967 for six months, and returned again in January 1970. She was forever changed by living in I-House.

“My life at the I-House changed me as a person in that I now look at people from all over the world, including the U.S., differently. Living with different nationalities day after day, eating, sharing a room, partying, studying, arguing, loving, and so on…is living with family. Never again in my life after that have I met a “foreigner” – just different personalities and characters. That was my lesson and gift from the I-House. And yes, for me, I transformed from a girl to a woman over those years in D.C., hopefully more matured and more tolerant of the fascinating people and the world I live with and in.”

Details of her life at the House are generously included in her fictionalized memoir/roman a clef “The Libyan” which was recently self-published (available from AmazonUS and AmazonUK). She confides that most of the details of her story at the House in chapters three and four are true. When pressed for specifics, she coyly says: “I do play a mean game of chess.”

Soon after publication, “The Libyan” was spotted by the Asia Literary Agency, and is now on submission to major publishers. As you will see if you read the book, learning to play competitive chess was a key part of Esther’s life – it led to many close friendships, including with her future husband, the Libyan, who is the main character in her book with the pseudonym Kamal. In addition to the romance that led to marriage, she was transformed from a shy, naïve young woman into the designated social director for I-House. She cherished the location, the rich history of the residence, and the activities. Most fondly remembered are the teas and dances which are written about in loving detail.

Esther in 1970

During Esther’s time at the House, there were only 30 residents (today there are 100). She says it felt very much like family – intimate and supportive. The guys, like big brothers, were protective of the women, most of whom had never lived away from their families or outside of their home countries.
“I wish I could have sent my own children to live there,“ she sighs.

“In addition to meeting my future husband, I met students from all over the world. I never imagined, for example, that I’d become friends with someone from Japan given our countries’ histories. And I had never even heard of Libya before I-House!”

Esther began writing “The Libyan” on October 20^th, 2011, the day the Revolution in Libya ended with the death of Muammar Gaddafi. She felt compelled to tell her story of life in Libya – she lived there for five years until she was forced to leave for political reasons. To protect her Libyan in-laws and the delicate situation, she opted to relate her experiences as fiction.

The publication, promotion and success of “The Libyan” exposed Esther to the wider world of social media (she has about 16,000 followers!) which in turn led to the rediscovery of many of her old friends from the House, including “Najwa” from Jordan, “Raj” from India and “Martin” from Canada (you will meet them if you read her book). She visited the real Najwa in Washington, DC last year after not having seen her for 30 years. They reminisced about the House and compared notes on the people they knew. Later Esther walked around the International Student House neighborhood – “It was unbelievable, like walking around in a dream.” Although she was very tempted to enter the House, she only looked at it from the outside. “I was afraid I might tear up.”

“Living at the I-House was one of the most amazing experiences in my life.”

“The Libyan” by Esther Kofod
www.estherkofod.com
Available on AmazonUS and AmazonUK

WORDS...

Words are more powerful than bullets and mightier than the sword...

I despise the lunatics who murder in the name of a religion which they have perverted.

I abhor the sick mentality of those who trespass on our rights to freedom of speech and personal beliefs. 

But,

I do not insult Christianity or Islam, only the hypocrites who use it to benefit their own irreligious agendas. 

I am NOT Charlie...

PROLOGUE

Prologue...
THE LIBYAN
Esther Kofod
www.estherkofod.com

As I walked into the American Embassy that spring morning, I glanced surreptitiously at the rooftop of the building across the road. Libyan Secret Service men were perched like vultures, just as Kamal had warned, watching and filming every person entering the embassy. They were so obvious that I was tempted to wave.

I was riddled with guilt for not telling my husband what I was doing. But I was sure he would tell me not to go—so I hadn’t asked. My concern for the welfare of my unborn child justified my defiance. By my doctor’s calculations back in Florida, the baby was due in June. It was already April, and I had not seen a doctor since leaving the States in December. Four months.

The embassy was housed in an old Italianate terracotta stucco villa in the city center. It was surrounded by modern buildings that already looked tired and aged due to neglect. The reception room was packed with Libyans and foreigners, all frantically vying for an official’s attention. I idly wondered if any of the men there were also secret police.

It was hot and stuffy inside, despite several window air conditioners struggling to suffuse cool air into the close quarters. The scores of all our hot bodies pressed tightly together defeated their tireless efforts.

I wiped the perspiration from my forehead and took deep breaths to overcome a creeping tide of claustrophobia, both from the surroundings as well as from the heaviness of my advanced pregnancy. I heaved a determined sigh and got to the back of one of three long lines.

It was obvious that most of the people were there to get visas to the United States. For some reason, I felt safe simply knowing that I was diplomatically on American soil. I just hoped I wasn’t doing anything wrong by being there, and that Kamal wouldn’t be too angry with me.

After standing in line for a while, I felt a soft touch on my arm and turned to see an attractive black woman with an overly friendly smile. Despite the heat, she looked impeccably crisp in a smart white linen suit with matching white pumps.

“May I help you, Madame?” the woman asked.

She was an American! My spirits lifted immediately. It was nice to hear an American voice.

“Oh, yes, please!” I replied with relief. “My name’s Hiba Ben Ramadan. I’m American; I’m here to register.”

“So nice to meet you, Mrs Ben Ramadan! My name’s Lynn Pendleton. I’m the liaison for consular affairs.”

Her accent hinted at Ivy League. She extended a bony, well-manicured hand, which I happily accepted and shook. Her smile widened, and I wondered if she already knew who I was. Using her other hand, Miss Pendleton lightly laid it on my shoulder.

“Please follow me,” she said in a low voice, drawing me out of the line.

I was quite taken aback by this show of favoritism, and while relishing in it, I was also a little self-conscious. Her manner exuded such grace and hospitality that it made me feel like I was a guest in her home. I noticed the questioning expressions of some people in the crowd as I was whisked away, but I didn’t care. Often, because of my olive complexion, I would be mistaken for an Arab, so they were probably thinking I was in trouble.

I followed Lynn Pendleton down a long narrow hallway into a room at the end. It was a small room, about twelve by twelve feet, but the walls were very unusual. They were completely covered in a metallic quilt-like fabric, including the ceiling. The temperature in the room was much cooler than the other rooms, almost cold. A low wooden round table stood in the middle, surrounded by four comfortable looking club chairs. The only other thing in the room was a large crystal ashtray on the table, overflowing with cigarette butts.

I sensed Miss Pendleton was watching my reactions very closely. With a gracious smile, she motioned for me to take a seat, simultaneously removing the ashtray.

“I’ll be right back,” she said reassuringly, as she made a motion to leave the room. I settled into one of the chairs, marveling at how quiet the room was. It was nice to just sit and relax after standing in line for so long in the oppressive reception room. After about ten minutes, Miss Pendleton came back with someone.

“Mrs Ben Ramadan, there’s someone here I’d like you to meet.”

Before I could answer, a large man, wearing glasses, and with sandy-colored hair and a bushy mustache came into the room. He wore khaki trousers and a plaid sports jacket over an open-neck white shirt. I suspected he was responsible for a lot of those cigarette butts in the ashtray. He too had a very big and friendly smile, eagerly extending a beefy hand followed by a firm handshake. He was average-looking, and if I had not know he was American, he could probably have passed for a fair-complexioned Libyan like my father-in-law. Despite his thinning hair, I suspected that he was in his early forties.

“Mrs Ben Ramadan! I’m James Moore. Delighted to meet you!” His exuberance seemed genuine.

“Very nice to meet you, too,” I nodded, feeling somewhat confused and overwhelmed by this special treatment.

“Well, I’ve got to bet back to work,” Miss Pendleton interrupted with a demure smile, laying one hand on my arm. “If there’s ever anything I can do to help you, anything at all, please let me know!”

“Thank you, Miss Pendleton. It was nice meeting you,” I mumbled—still perplexed by the curious exchange.

She left discreetly, closing the door carefully behind her. The room was so sound-proofed I could not even hear her heels clicking down the corridor.

I was now left alone with James Moore. I felt a little uncomfortable, realizing that Kamal would not be pleased to know that I had been alone in a room with a strange man. I knew enough about Libyan customs by now to know that I was in a compromised situation culturally as well as socially. Once again, I was torn between what I was and how I was supposed to behave. For now I was just glad to be in the company of an American-speaking person, yet I had a haunting feeling there was something behind all this hospitality.

Mr Moore turned out to be a pleasant and engaging conversationalist. He told me he had been working in the Middle East for many years, and let on that he was a collector of Arabic art and artefacts. He asked if I spoke any Arabic, and inquired about my family back home. I had the feeling he already knew the answers, because he was asking all the right questions. However, I was enjoying the conversation so much that I really didn’t care.

Reluctantly, I decided to change the subject, and take the opportunity to gear it to the real purpose of my visit.

“Mr Moore, I...”

“Please, call me Jim.”

“I’d like to have my baby delivered at the American Oil Clinic, but apparently only employees of oil companies are allowed. My husband and I are willing to pay whatever it costs.” Kamal had said nothing of the sort. “Is there any way the embassy can help me?” I knew it sounded like I was pleading, but for my child’s sake I could afford to be a little shameless.

“Consider it done!” He replied, without hesitation. “In fact,” he continued, “I’ll make sure that Dr Watson, Head of Obstetrics, will personally take your case. You’ll have the best suite there.”

I couldn’t believe it was that easy.

…

“Thank you so much, Mr Moore.” I said, with relief and gratitude, cautious not to sound too desperate, though frankly I was elated!

…

“Mrs Ben Ramadan, if you would please give me your telephone number, I’ll have someone from the hospital call you with details.”

Without hesitation, and without thinking, I quickly wrote down my number with the pen and notepad Mr Moore had removed from his jacket pocket and happily handed it back. “I’ll take care of this right away, Mrs Ben Ramadan. I promise you’ll be hearing from someone by tomorrow, at the very latest.”

I thanked him and started to get up to go, but Moore cleared his throat and subtly gestured for me to stay.

Looking me straight in the eye, with a more serious tone in his voice, he said, almost apologetically, “Mrs Ben Ramadan, I’d very much like to meet your husband, Dr Ben Ramadan. Do you think it would be all right for me to call him?”

Surprised at what he was asking, I was at a momentary loss for a reply. I also realized that, of course, now that I had given him our home number he could call anytime. I was starting to feel a little worried.

“Well…I’ll have to ask him. I think our phones are bugged, and …”

I wondered if this man realized that a call from the American Embassy would put Kamal in a precarious position. There were eyes and spies everywhere, and Kamal could easily be accused of cooperating with the Americans.

“Mrs Ben Ramadan, I absolutely understand your hesitation,” he interrupted, in a sympathetic tone.

“But I want to assure you I have no intentions of putting your husband – or you,” he paused and looked at me seriously, “in a compromising position. All I ask is if you would just please tell him that I would like very much to meet him.”

“All right,” I replied, uncertainly, and with some hesitation. “I’ll tell him.”

I was perplexed by this request, but I also wanted to try to be accommodating and not appear ungrateful. Despite everything, the hospital booking remained foremost in my mind.

“Mrs Ben Ramadan, I think there’s something I should tell you,” continued this big American with a gentle smile. “Nothing said in this room can be heard by anyone, anywhere, which is why we brought you in here. I want you to feel comfortable to say anything you want,” he said, pausing for a second. “Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?’

I nodded, his implication slowing sinking in. I thought quickly about the secret police monitoring who was coming and going, into and out of the embassy. However, I was an American citizen, and didn’t see why I would get into trouble. In fact, I had not even registered my presence with the embassy, which was the required and perhaps sensible thing for all Americans who reside abroad to do.

Mr Moore let his words sink in before continuing.

“This room is totally isolated from any kind of sound or visual devise. We call it the Bubble Room.”

It finally dawned on me that he was CIA.

How was I ever going to explain this to Kamal?

A Memorial to Ernst Kofod, from THE LIBYAN by Esther Kofod

Ernst Kofod was born on the rocky windswept Danish island of Bornholm, in the Baltic Sea. Besides contacting a severe case of mumps as a child, he led a happy, carefree life with his parents and his sister Ruth. After finishing high school, Ernst left Bornholm for the capital, where he studied engineering at the University of Copenhagen. Upon graduation, he set sail in steerage class on the "Queen Elizabeth" for America, to seek his fortune...as many young men from Europe did in those days.

Shortly after arriving and securing a job at Frick Engineering in Waynesboro, Pennsylvania, Ernst met and married an American girl working in the same company. Unfortunately, that marriage lasted only a year, after Ernst found her in bed with his best friend. Seeking a change and also to escape the small town of Waynesboro, he asked the company to transfer him overseas.

A few months later, Ernst arrived in Calcutta, India, also known in those days as "the black hole" for it's heartbreaking poverty. On many occasions, Ernst painfully recalled walking around lifeless bodies on the streets, of the unfortunates who had succumbed to hunger or violence. Calcutta was not a pretty place in those days, but as a handsome bachelor, Ernst was very popular, and considered quite a catch among the lively expat social crowd. Almost falliing for an Anglo-English beauty by the name of Cynthia, he is lured instead by the offer of a transfer to Singapore, the Pearl of the Orient.

Ernst immediately falls in love with the vibrancy and cosmopolitan world of colonial Singapore. It was also here where he made his fortune and found the love of his life, Lian. She was the beautiful daughter of a tin mine owner, who was killed by the Japanese during the occupation of Malaysia. After a surreptitious courtship, Ernst and Lian marry, and became the parents of Lina Kofod, the protagonist in THE LIBYAN. 

Ernst's marriage to a Chinese lady and his position as an executive in an American company afforded him and his family a gracious and opulent lifestyle. The social life of the Kofods included the elite of Singapore society, diplomats, international business executives, and even royalty. Ernst travelled extensively throughout Asia, India and Japan, and every year for their vacation, the Kofods went around the world. When their daughter turned fifteen, Ernst insisted on sending her to school in Switzerland. 

Over the years, Ernst became more successful and respected in both the Singaporean as well as the American community. He was an active member of the Rotary Club as well as the only civilian certified to train attack dogs. He was also an avid golfer and a member of several private social clubs, including the Singapore American Club, the Tanglin Club and the Singapore Island Club. He and Lian loved entertaining at their beautiful mansion in Bukit Timah, and were invited to every notable party in town by the elite of Singapore society. Alex loved Singapore, and Singapore loved him back. 

When his only daughter announced that she was marrying a Libyan she met in Washington D.C., Ernst's world was only slightly shaken. He had hoped that Lina was going to return to Singapore after college in America, but he realized that she would be living in Libya instead. He was disappointed, but Lina's happiness came first. He was concerned with how she would be accepted in a Moslem world where women were generally regarded as second class citizens. He begged Lina to visit Libya before she married Kamal, but she explained to him that was not possible. He accepted his daughters decision and her new husband Kamal, the Libyan.

The years passed quickly for Ernst Kofod, and once a year he and Lian would see their daughter and grandchildren, either in Singapore or the United States.  He looked forward to the day when he retired,  so that they could spend more time with Lina and their grandchildren in America. 

That was not to be. 

Yesterday, Alex suffered a massive heart attack as he was playing with his dog in the garden of his home on Camborne Road in Singapore.

RIP Ernst Kofod, 1923-2014

The magnificent Roman ruins in Sabrata...

"Fontana De Ghazelle", Tripoli, Libya...

              

  

The iconic bronze statue of the girl with the gazelle has been sitting in the fountain in downtown Tripoli for almost 100 years. It was one of the favorite sights in the city, and driving around the fountain was a treat for the eyes and the soul. Glistening in the desert sun, they sat together, the girl and the gazelle, frozen in time and joy. They were a reminder of beauty and history in the midst of Gaddafi's madness. 

Last night, 3 years after the demise of Gaddafi, the madness that has replaced him removed the statue, torn and chipped away at its base. Gone. 

The removal of this statue is a representation of the lawlessness that has been substituted in place of the dictatorship Libyans endured for 42 years under Gaddafi. People have been assassinated and infrastructure destroyed...Hospitals, schools, airports, buildings, even mosques and antiquities have been the target of extremists. 

Libya is slowly slipping into the abyss while the outside world, including the U.S., watches, but does nothing to help...

This is what is left of the "Fontana De Ghazelle"...

LIBYAN HOSPITALITY...

"The level of hospitality and generosity that greeted us at every home we visited was unparalleled to anything I had experienced in the United States, or even Singapore.

We were invited to homes of relatives for lunches and dinners almost every day during our first few weeks, either in Tripoli or Khums. Regardless of their financial circumstances, every house we went to slaughtered a lamb in our honor, served us their best foods and gave Layla and me lovely gifts, often in the form of jewelry..."

THE LIBYAN

Esther Kofod

www.estherkofod.com

I don't think I shall ever again experience the phenomenal feeling of being so welcomed as I did in Libya. It is what I have missed most about living in America, but I hope I have retained some of that Libyan in me. Such epic hospitality can only be the result of a kind and generous culture. It is evident in the character and personalities of almost all the Libyans I have known. 

It has always been my dream to return to Libya one day, to visit family and old friends, and meet the descendants of  a man I shall always revere as my hero, my father-in-law. He epitomized to me the meaning of family. He was the force that held us all together, and without him, I fear that the familial thread will one day slowly start to unravel. Just as Libya is unraveling now...